So, I Am Unemployable!

After I reviewed my old resume over the weekend, I realized that I could never work for anyone again.

I am my own boss.
I am independent.
I am lazy when I want to be.
I create my own projects.
I am very demanding.
I am a perfectionist.
I like to sleep until 9AM.
I don't take orders from anyone (unless they have a "$" sign in front of them)
I set my own fee structure.

...In other words, I am completely unemployable. Isn't that grand?!